Monday, July 10, 2017

To change is to disappear

I am change.  I am the spinal cord of what you so vividly yearn for, and at the same time of that which you are so afraid of.  I am all of your opportunities soon to come, and I am all of your losses.  You look at my face, but you are never able to predict me.  I am unbearable and endless fire.  I am your soul that suffers because of your heart that can never seem to finally comprehend.  I am your burning eyes.  I am your body that yells, and that winds out accepting that, without me, you just cannot keep being.  Because, as I am construction, I am also erosion, I am pedantic intransigence overflown by the passing of time.
I am change, and it is because of me that you disappear by the little.  I am dethroning you, without you being aware of it, and from whatever joy in your soul there will be nothing but remains, feeble memories without connection.  I am the contrast between what you think happened and what actually occurred.  I am an infinite bunch of interpretations and perspectives.  I give you moments of enlightenment, so that I can then disrupt your conclusions.  And in lieu of this I, in my pure capriciousness, am forcing you to vanish.  So that you stop being you, so that you stop thinking so much about yourself.  For you to try at least at moments to put me in your agenda, so we could happen to meet, talk, understand each other, and die together with no trouble amongst us.
I am your cowardice.  I am your teachings.  I am your fascination.  I am each time that you tried to help someone understand, each moment that you achieved conquering love, each feeling that turned you into an unscrupulous, shameless creature.  I am that piercing moment that made you a hero to the eyes of that who most mattered.  I am you, but tomorrow.  I am you, two seconds after your heart has been ripped apart.  I am you, without the pieces of your soul that have been killed.
I am change, and thanks to me, you disappear all the time.  You cease being.  You cease understanding. You behave as if you had just been born, and as if you already knew how life is supposed to work.  I am your wasteful spendings, and your encounters.  I am your contexts and epiphanies.  I am your undermined life turned into and infinite void.  Unbearable solitude.
But I am also that who gives you freedom.  I am that who inspires and provokes your most gorgeous thoughts, your most extravagant ideas.  Your kindest behaviors and your most considerate compromises.  I am your bravest attitudes, and your best moments of care and loyalty.  Your love conversations until the whole world just seems to not be there anymore, and your eyes finally close.  I am your most tenacious attempts at learning.  I am your body which, amidst intangible processes, never ceases to be born.  So you are right to always be feeling like this.  I am your healing heart, I am your ever emanating beauty, I am your soul as it shines the most.  I am the moment of that first kiss, I am that infinite instant of unconnected nervous ends at last feeling together.  I am your life.  I am your desire.  I am you...


Original Spanish version here